An elderly couple where on holiday in Jerusalem.  They had been married for 50 years, and every day since their wedding day the man had been nagged ceaselessly by his wife.  Now they were very old and during the holiday the woman died.  The man went to see an undertaker to find out his options for burial.  He was told that he could either fly his wife’s body home to be buried for £1000, or he could bury her in Jerusalem for £150.  He said he would rather fly her home for the burial; the undertaker expressed surprise that he was willing to spend such a large sum of money on the funeral.  The man said “well I’ve heard a story that 2000 years ago a man died in this city and was buried, and three days later he rose from the dead.  I simply don’t want to take that risk”.

The following joke is taken from Father John’s sermon of 2008-06-22.  You may need a bible to hand in order to appreciate the humour (or just click the links).

A vicar was invited to supper with a member of his congregation.  When he arrived at the appointed time and knocked on the door he was surprised that no one ansered.  After trying several times, the vicar eventually gave up and went home, leaving a calling card on which he wrote the following bible reference:

 

Revelation 3:20

The following Sunday, his card was returned to him in the collection plate.  The parishioner in question had written another bible reference in response.

 

Genesis 3:10

Some food humour, now that we are out of Lent. 

 

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.